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Doctrine of Right Man Right Woman

July 23, 2010

Doctrine of Right Man Right Woman
I.    Preliminary Considerations
A)    The purpose of this Doctrine is to illuminate the principles which God has established in His Word in regard to Right Man Right Woman (RMRW).
B)    Other than Ph1 and Ph2 adjustment to Christ, the most important issue which confronts mankind is that of choosing a soul mate/partner.
C)    This particular area of application should be the source of the greatest happiness to the believer, yet many suffer today due to failure to exercise biblical principles in this very area.
D)    More self-induced misery of soul has occurred due to failure in this area than in almost any other area of life. cp Pr 12:4 “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who shames him is as rottenness in his bones.”
E)    There are three basic grace gifts, or provisions given after a need developed for them, given to mankind: all other gifts (rain, food, air, etc.) can be said to be universal gifts, since they were provided before the need arose (Ac 14:17):
1)    RMRW is the first/oldest, given when Man realized his need for a soul mate
2)    salvation was given only after it was needed due to the Fall
3)    Bible Doctrine was given as Man developed a desire to glorify God, and needed instruction as to how it was to be done
F)    The believer who learns and applies these principles will enjoy tremendous blessing in this area; marriage is not presented as a life without conflict, but its benefits far outweigh its disadvantages. Pr 18:22 “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD.”
G)    The one who disregards the Truth and violates Bible Doctrine (BD), to pursue, obtain, or maintain a relationship will incur Divine Discipline (DD) and misery; failing to follow the Divine mandates in this regard will inevitably produce friction, dissatisfaction, and misery between husband and wife. Ecc 7:26
1)    it must be recognized that marriage does not simplify one’s niche, it makes it more complicated – 1Cor 7:32-35
2)    however, the false teaching of imposed celibacy is an invention of man, and directly attributable to the doctrine of demons – 1Tim 4:1-3
3)    the fact that God pronounced the status of Man before Woman “not good”, and He Himself remedied the problem, indicates that marriage is an honorable and sanctified state for a man and woman – Gen 2:18
II.    The Origin of RMRW
A)    God Himself is the Author of the relationship between Right Man and Right
Woman. Gen 1:26-28; Mt 19:4
B)    Since the Woman was brought to the Man after the institution of volition (Gen 2:16-17), and second in order, this Divinely ordained convention is known as Divine Institution #2 (DI#2).
C)    The pattern established in the Garden of Eden is replete with insight into this relationship, and its presentation is partly to teach the correct and incorrect approach to it, by implicit and explicit evidence.
D)    God provides this relationship for man as the Divine solution to the problem of loneliness.  The Doctrine of Right Man Right Woman 2
1)    loneliness is a state of dejection or depression arising from a conscious awareness of solitude
2)    this condition is one of the soul, not the body
3)    Adam, in perfect environment, was aware of the fact that he did not have a companion, one with whom he could share his existence
4)    God made this even more obvious by presenting all the animals with their respective mates, emphasizing to the Man that he was uniquely alone
5)    if, like the Man, the believer determines to wait on the Lord to provide the right person, they will also endure a period of loneliness; if they react and seek to eliminate the loneliness themselves, they will do nothing but aggravate the situation – 1Cor 7:27
6)    this period should be used for the intake of BD, which will provide the believer with capacity for life in general, and their right person specifically
7)    it is certainly better to be lonely than to be married to the wrong person and miserable – cp Mt 19:10-12
8)    God, in grace, provided what the Man needed on every level, and the provision for this lack was the Woman
E)    Because the relationship of RMRW was established before the fall, even unbelievers can enjoy tremendous happiness if they find and remain with their right spouse. Ecc 9:9 “Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which He has given to you under the sun; for this is your reward in life, and in your toil in which you have labored under the sun.” (TECHNICAL FOR LIFE WITHOUT BD, HUMANISTIC CONCERNS ONLY – CP ECC 1:9, 14)
III.    The Formation of the Woman
A)    The formation of the soul is detailed in Gen 1:26-27.
B)    The formation of the body of the Woman is found in Gen 2:21-22.
C)    The body of the Woman was built from the rib of the Man, which God had taken in supernatural surgery.
1)    this puts the woman on an equal status with the man
2)    it teaches that the woman owes her very existence to the man – 1Cor 11:8-9
3)    the use of the rib demonstrates the solidarity between the man and woman, while teaching the complete dependence of the woman on the man
D)    The distinction between the origin of the bodies of the Man and the Woman.
1)    the verb rc;y” – YaTZaR is used of the formation of the body of the Man, meaning his was the original design – Gen 2:7
2)    the verb hn”b’ – BaNaH is used to describe the construction of the body of the Woman, meaning hers was based on a pattern or “blueprint” – Gen 2:22
3)    her body was built, to correspond to the body of the Man in every way
E)    God then brought His gift to the Man – He did not hide the Woman and tell the Man he had to find her, or make do with whatever he could find
F)    God controlled the timing by bringing the Woman to the Man when He chose
IV.    The Relationship Between RMRW
A)    First and foremost, this relationship is based in the soul, and is NOT primarily physical in nature.  The Doctrine of Right Man Right Woman 3
1)    the “ring of gold” principle illustrates the level of satisfaction achieved in a marriage based only on physical appearance/attraction – Pr 11:22 “As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, So is a beautiful woman who lacks discretion.”
2)    conversely, physical attraction is guaranteed to last when soulish affection is maintained – Pr 5:18-19
B)    No one in the human race is smart enough to know what soulish principles and strengths it would take in another person to make them happy, complete, and fulfilled in a lasting sense; temporary gratification is easy to find, but enduring contentment can only be found, not produced.
C)    God, through Omniscience (OmSc), knows everything needed, and through Omnipotence (OmPo) provides the right spouse at the right time.
D)    RMRW enjoy the benefit of their soulish oneness and express that unity in the physical act of sex.
E)    Responsibilities of the RM include:
1)    separation from the families’ authority – Gen 2:25; Mk 10:7-8; Eph 5:31
2)    satisfaction of RW sexually – Dt 24:5; 1Cor 7:3-5
3)    avoiding resentment – Col 3:19
4)    authority – Gen 3:16; Num 30:10 (cp Heb 13:17)
5)    provision – Eph 5:28-29
6)    doctrinal guidance and instruction – 1Cor 14:35
7)    affection, leading to self-sacrifice for the benefit of the RW (love) – Eph 5:25
8)    honor – 1Pet 3:7
F)    Responsibilities of the RW include:
1)    subjection – Eph 5:24; Col 3:18
2)    overt demonstration of subjection to his authority (the hair) – 1Cor 11:10
3)    satisfaction of RM sexually – 1Cor 7:3-5
4)    providing a pleasant and secure environment for her family – Pr 31:10-31
5)    raising children and taking care of the house (an outside ‘career’ is not to be her primary emphasis) – Tit 2:3-5
6)    modest and quiet behavior – 1Pet 3:1-2
G)    The action of usurping authority, acting independently of the authority of the RM, led directly to the Fall, and illustrates the danger of the woman taking, or the man acquiescing , unwarranted authority in violation of Scripture. Gen 3:6, 17
V.    RMRW and Sex
A)    The only two people in the entire world who are qualified or permitted to engage in sex with one another are RM and RW, and that only after marriage. Ex 20:14,
22:16; Dt 22:20, 22:25
B)    Sex is the ultimate expression of the soul-love between RM and RW. SoS 3:1
C)    As such, it is not designed only to produce children, but for both recreation and procreation. SoS 2:1-4
1)    sexual prosperity was the first Divine blessing pronounced upon mankind –
Gen 1:28
2)    the fact of sexual enjoyment between the Man and Woman is clearly implied in
Gen 2:25 “And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.”
3)    the result of sex between a man and his wife is usually offspring, but their absence is nowhere given as a reason to cease sexual activity
The Doctrine of Right Man Right Woman 4
4)    children are a blessing by themselves (Ps 127:4-5), but not the only blessing derived from marriage – cp 1Sam 1:4-5
D)    Satan seeks to attack legitimate sexual enjoyment through distortions and perversions, including:
1)    homosexuality/lesbianism – same sex relationships –Rom 1:26-27
2)    bestiality – human with animal – Lev 18:23
3)    fornication – male and female outside DI#2 – 1Cor 6:13-18
4)    adultery – male and female violating DI#2 – Ex 21:14 cp Pr 6:32
5)    promiscuity – rampant/unrestrained fornication – Rom 13:13
E)    Monogamy is ordained by God as the only acceptable practice between RM and
RW. Gen 2:24-25; 1Cor 7:2
1)    this precludes and forbids such activities as
a)    communal living
b)    harems
c)    polygamy
d)    orgies/group sex
e)    ‘open marriages’
2)    this forbids the concept of divorce on demand, as well – Mk 10:9
F)    Understanding this principle explains the teaching of Mt 22:30, but does not negate the permanence of the relationship, only the sexual activity of it. “For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.”
VI.    Errors Regarding RMRW
A)    One of the greatest errors made in this area is that of pursuing blessing instead of pursuing BD. Mt 6:33
B)    Most people are looking for, and taken in by, an overt appearance, and overlook the soul. cp Jdg 14:3
C)    People pursue relationships for several reasons, none of which are legitimate or sound:
1)    failure to believe this doctrine or trust God to provide
2)    loneliness
3)    panic
4)    insecurity
5)    fear
6)    peer pressure
D)    Given the critical nature of recognizing one’s right spouse, the believer should be keenly aware of things which cloud their judgment, such as:
1)    emotions – Jdg 16:4f; Ruth 1:11-16
2)    libido – cp Pr 6:24-29
3)    expediency – cp 1Kin 3:1, 11:4
E)    The believer must think doctrinally in this issue, and not allow anything to impair their thinking; otherwise, they are destined to make a crucial mistake, with a lifetime of consequences.
F)    The overriding principle is patience and a relaxed mental attitude toward this area of life (as with all others), recognizing that God will provide the relationship in His perfect time.
The Doctrine of Right Man Right Woman 5
VII.    The Doctrine of Separation and RMRW
A)    As with any other relationship, failure to apply the Doctrine of Separation will lower the believer to the level of the one with whom they associate. 1Cor 15:33 cp
1Kin 11:4
B)    It is never the Will of God for the believer to establish a relationship with an unbeliever, on any level (2Cor 6:14), especially in marriage. 1Cor 7:39 cp 9:5
C)    It is easily concluded, therefore, that God will not unequally team together a man and woman, one of whom is an unbeliever.
D)    Marriage and the negative believer
1)    the negative believer does not enjoy true fellowship with Jesus Christ, or other believers – 1Jn 1:6-7
2)    marriage without soulish fellowship is empty and vacuous – Pr 12:4
3)    this is not to say that a relationship between a positive and negative believer cannot be blessed, if it was established before the discovery of BD – 1Cor 7:14
4)    the Will of God for the positive believer is to remain in a marriage if it is already consummated, but not to seek marriage with those who are not likeminded
– 1Cor 7:12-13, 39
5)    therefore, the believer who violates this concept, and marries negative volition after learning the principle, will have misery of soul, with no legitimate escape
– cp Gen 30:1-2
VIII.    Recognition of RM or RW
A)    Since the primary relationship of RMRW is soulish in nature, the soul recognition must be present.
B)    Content of the soul is the foremost issue, in a qualitative sense (not necessarily quantitative). Pr 31:30 “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised”
C)    Following the examples of Scripture (Gen 2:22, 24:4f), the right spouse will be brought to the believer.
1)    neither will have to work to find the other
2)    no doctrines must be violated in order to locate them
3)    the right person will not be a hindrance to positive volition
4)    recognition of the individual as “the one and only” will normally follow soon after introduction
D)    The ultimate goal in the recognition of RMRW is marriage.
1)    the definition of marriage is the ceremony, act or contract by which a man and woman become husband and wife – cp Gen 2:22; Jn 2:1
2)    a marriage must have this initial ceremony to be legitimate, there is no such thing as ‘common law marriage’ recognized by God – Jn 4:18
3)    in the ideal situation, this ceremony should be performed by two believers’ spiritual leader, but a marriage must be recognized by a figure of authority; the primary importance is the ceremony, rather than who performed it
4)    there is nothing Scripturally wrong with a period of dating, since a certain amount of time is necessary to determine the certainty of the RMRW relationship, allowing for examination and evaluation of soulish bonding and like-mindedness – cp Mt 1:18 The Doctrine of Right Man Right Woman 6
IX.    RMRW and Divorce
A)    While divorce is tolerated under certain circumstances, it is NEVER the Directive
Will of God. Mk 10:5-12; Rom 7:3
1)    divorce and remarriage for any reason other than infidelity on the part of the spouse constitutes the sin of adultery – vss 11-12
2)    divorce and remarriage for the reason of infidelity on the part of the spouse is not considered adulterous, but is still against the Directive Will – vss 5-9
3)    once the remarriage is consummated, however, the first marriage is no longer binding, and the second marriage becomes the one which must be maintained –
Dt 24:1-4; Jn 4:16-18
B)    This includes divorce due to the spouse’s negative volition or ‘lack of application’.
1)    since God allowed the marriage to occur, it should be obvious He wanted it to be a part of the believer’s life
2)    marriage and the intimate contact therein is often used as an overt witness to the negative spouse, and can lead to repentance – 1Cor 7:14-16; 1Pet 3:1-2
3)    if the unbeliever/negative believer is truly a hindrance to one’s spiritual advance, God is free to remove them – cp 1Sam 25:1f
C)    The example of Abraham and Hagar has been cited as an example of divorce, but the two are never mentioned as being married, only producing offspring outside of marriage. Gen 21:8-14
D)    Divorce, as a typological representation of Christ and the Church, would speak of loss of salvation, which is never a possibility, even under spiritual adultery. cp
2Tim 2:13 “If we are faithless, He remains faithful; for He cannot deny Himself.”
E)    Believers will violate the Directive Will of God in this area, and recovery follows the same principle as any other violation, but this should not be viewed as permission, or an ‘easy way out’. 1Cor 7:10-11
F)    This does not place the spouse against whom a divorce is initiated in a sinful condition, and they are free to remarry, even immediately. 1Cor 7:15
X.    The Relationship of RMRW Compared to Christ and the Church
A)    The purpose of the intimate relationship between RMRW is to teach a higher spiritual principle, using it as a teaching aid for a spiritual reality.
1)    as there is no one closer, physically or soulishly, to an individual than their spouse, there is no one that should be closer to the believer than God – Ex 20:3
“You shall have no other gods before Me.”
2)    the full reality of spiritual exclusivity, however, is realized in the Church
B)    Paul says specifically that RMRW typologically represents Christ and the Church.
Eph 5:32
1)    this is because of the Positional Truth that each member of the Church shares with Christ – Rom 6:3; Gal 3:27-28
2)    the Church Universal is viewed as one body, with each believer fulfilling a distinct role within it – 1Cor 12:13-20
3)    the existential condition of the Church Universal, Local, or individual, cannot break the bond between the Bridegroom and bride – cp Rev 4:14f “And to the angel (ANGELOS = MESSENGER = PT) of the church in Laodicea write…”
4)    for all eternity future, the bride of Christ will share the inheritance and position of her Husband – cp Rom 8:17 The Doctrine of Right Man Right Woman 75)    following the Divine mandate concerning marriage, this speaks of the facts of union with Christ and eternal security – Jn 10:28-29
C)    The Church is currently betrothed, or engaged, to Christ. 2Cor 11:2 “For I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy; for I betrothed you to one husband, that to Christ I might present you as a pure virgin.”
1)    this situation remains until the bride is ready – Eph 5:26-27
2)    the Millennial rule begins with the Marriage of Christ and a ceremony, and the 1000 years is known as the marriage feast, the celebration of the union of
Christ and the Church – Rev 19:7-9
D)    The New Jerusalem is also called “the bride, the wife of the Lamb”, indicating that will be the abode of the Church for eternity. Rev 21:9
XI.    Concluding Observations
A)    RMRW is one of the greatest grace gifts given to mankind, second only to salvation in importance (and permanence).
B)    Its distortion by the Cosmos and Angelic Conflict in no way undermines its validity or appreciation.
C)    By adhering to the principles of BD, its truest and highest enjoyment is not only potential, but achievable.
D)    The provision of RMRW does not mean that there will be a soul mate for each person, believer or not; there are some individuals who forego this relationship, for physical or spiritual reasons. Mt 19:12
1)    “born that way” = those with physical deformity that prohibits sexual ability
2)    “made eunuchs by men” = those who suffer physical damage that removes sexual ability, or fulfillment of other marriage vows
3)    “made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom” = those who voluntarily sacrifice this relationship in order to devote themselves to God’s service, NOT self-castration – cp 1Cor 7:7, 26, 32-34
“For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.”
Gen 2:24
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD.”
Pr 18:22
DOCTRINE OF RIGHT MAN RIGHT WOMAN
APR 2004
HOPE BIBLE CHURCH