Doctrine of Marriage

July 19, 2010


This doctrine is parallel to the doctrine of right man and right woman.
This institution is the ultimate goal of the right man, right woman relationship.
Marriage is divine institution number two (DI#2), and was preceded only by volition (DI#1).
God has established marriage for the maximum joy and fulfillment of men and women in the human race.
Since God institutes marriage, His design should govern all marital relationships.
The result of adhering to God’s plan will be blessing in this most intimate of human relationships.
For most members of the human race, marriage is the norm, celibacy is the exception.  Mt. 19: 10-12

The origin of marriage:
God ordained the relationship between right man and right woman as the perfect solution to loneliness in the human race.  Gen. 2:18, 20
The woman was designed to correspond to the man in every way, and to provide assistance in his niche.  Gen. 2:18
The formation of the woman from the rib of the man teaches the organic union between right man and right woman.  Gen. 2:21-22
They are designed to complement each other perfectly in every way, emotionally, spiritually and sexually.  Gen. 2:23
The statement of the original bliss enjoyed in the marriage relationship is found in Gen. 2:25.

The basis for marriage:
The first and only reason a believer ought to get married is because they know for certain that they have found their right partner.
The relationship should be based not on the physical attraction, but on spiritual criteria.
It is never the will of God for the believer to establish a relationship with an unbeliever on any level, especially in marriage.  2Co.6:14; cp. 1Co.7:39; 9:5
As with any relationship, failure to apply the doctrine of separation will drag the believer down to the level of the one with whom they associate.  1Co.15:33
The positive believer may be tempted to establish a relationship with a believer who is negative to BD.
The believer who is negative to BD does not enjoy fellowship with God or with one another.  1Jn.1: 6-7
It is not preferable to establish a relationship and seek to have communion with someone the Lord does not approve of.  1Co.6:15-16
Those believers who violate this concept and pursue negative volition have and will reap misery of soul.
God as with Adam, will provide the positive believer with his/her right “soul” mate.  Gen.2:22
You do not have to violate your niche, or any doctrine in order to have this most wonderful of relationships.
People who pursue this area of blessing and crank up relationships in disregard of God’s will are destined for misery and divine discipline.
God’s timing in this matter is essential, so do not be in a hurry to get married.
For the positive believer, God has a person for you who will not be a hindrance to your positive volition.

Some prerequisites for marriage:
First, a person should have a certain amount of physical and emotional maturity before they ever consider marriage.
Note that Adam and Eve were created both physically and mentally mature as they were brought together.
Teenage marriages today are at the least questionable and should not be encouraged.
Beyond maturity, a person should possess a certain measure of stability in their life, both physical and spiritual.
People, who together are not consistent in bible class, rooted and grounded in BD are candidates for troublesome marriages.
People who cannot handle their own STA’s are not truly able to deal with another one.
In the physical realm, consideration should be given to financial responsibility and management.
Financial support for the family and the ability to provide for more than ones self is a responsibility for the head of the house.
As a believer, do not be afraid to ask difficult questions making certain that your spiritual needs and interest is first.

Changes which occur at marriage:
Before one enters into the institution of marriage, it is the will of God to remain at home under the authority of their parents as long as is feasible.
As long as a child remains at home, no matter the age, they are under the authority of the parents.
Once a couple is married the man is responsible to leave his family and see to it that the wife leaves hers.  Gen.2:24
This separation is certainly physical and it is not the plan of God for married couples to live with either set of parents.
A man cannot establish his rightful authority when he is living in someone else’s house under their authority.
Apart from honor parents (Mt.15:4), the man is to break all ties with his father and mother and see that the woman does the same.
He is to tolerate no meddling by either set of parents.
This meddling may come in the form of unwanted advice, criticism of mate or financial meddling.
Once a person marries, the time for parental involvement as overseers is past.

The demands of marriage:
The first and foremost demand of marriage is that God expects it to be permanent.  Mt.19:6; 1Co.7:10,11,39
Divorce is only tolerated by God and is never commanded.  Mt.19:8
The term “divorce” should not be in the vocabulary of two positive believers.
Marriage complicates your niche, it does not simplify it.  1Co.7:32-35

The authority structure in marriage:
The authority of the husband:
The husband is the head or authority in the DI#2 and as such, is responsible for the wife.
He is to establish his authority immediately and exercise it in an appropriate fashion.
In the marriage relationship the authority of the husband is likened to the authority of Christ as the head of the Church.  Eph.5:23
The man was the authority before the fall and that authority was not abrogated after the fall.  Gen.2:23; cp. 3:16
The badge of the man’s authority is his short hair.  1Co.11:7-9

The subjection of the wife:
The woman is not the authority in the marriage and should never seek to usurp the authority of her husband.
The wife is responsible to obey her husband as is fitting in the Lord even if he is unreasonable.  1Pt.3:1ff; Col.3:18
The response of the woman is likened to the response of the church to Christ.  Eph.5:24
The action of usurping authority and acting independently of the right man led to the fall.  Gen.3:6
The badge of the woman’s submission is her long hair.  1Co.11:10,15

Responsibilities in marriage:
The responsibilities of the husband:
The man is responsible for every aspect of the household and should not shun his duties to his wife.
He is responsible to provide the material things that a family needs, and not depend upon his wife to work.  Ti.2:3-5
He is responsible to exercise his authority over the woman in a manner consistent with the weaker vessel principle.  1Pt.3:7
He is responsible to love his wife just as Christ loved the church.  Eph.5:25,28
This is evidenced by acts of self-sacrifice, as opposed to a self centered, selfish mentality.  Eph.5:25
This is further emphasized by the command to love your right woman, as you love yourself.  Eph.5:33
Anything you would do or have done for yourself, you should make certain is or would be done for your wife.
The man is responsible for the sexual fulfillment of his wife.  1Co.7:3
As the authority in the spiritual realm he is to set an example for his wife in the application of doctrine and not “wimp out” to emotionalism sponsored by the STA.
The responsibilities of the wife:
It should be the priority for the wife to strive for the homemaker, mother niche rather than the pursuit of a career outside the home.  Ti.2:3-5
She is not to pursue the overt via operation “clothes horse”, etc.  1Tm.2:9
She is responsible to maintain the home under the authority of her husband.
She is to avoid the Eve complex and remain submitted to her own husband for advice and direction.  1Tm.2:11-14
She is responsible to satisfy the sexual needs of her husband.  1Co.7:3-5
If she is in the home she is responsible to use her time wisely and not use idle time for STA pursuits.  1Tm.5:10ff
She is to be busily engaged in divine good production as she has opportunity.  1Tm.2:10
She is responsible to learn doctrine quietly, with all submission and ask her husband any question she may have.  1Co.14:34-35; 1Tm.2:11

God designed the divine institution of marriage for the blessing and fulfillment of the human race.
The entrance of the STA brought many complications and problems that God did not intend according to the creation of man and woman in a perfect and sinless state.
Applying the concepts and principles contained in this doctrine will save those waiting on their right spouse much wear and tear in the Christian life.
Believers should follow the advice of Paul in 1Co.7:8-9; 17-40 and not be in a hurry to get married.

It should be incumbent upon the P-T of a local church to use discretion in approving and attesting to any marriage he is asked to perform to include:
Marrying people who are not part of the local church.
Marrying believers with known unbelievers.
Marrying a positive believer within the church to a negative believer from outside the church.
Not ever to endorse homosexual marriages.
Marrying those who are not biblically allowed.
The church board and positive members of the local church should give full support to the P-T who may refuse to perform marriages based on solid biblical grounds.
As Paul, it should not be the motivation of a P-T to put restraints upon this DV#2, simply to promote that, which is right before the Lord.  1Co.7:35

“And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.”
Gen. 2:25